This definitely ISN'T what 911 is for but it's a pretty good bit anyway.
There's a 50-year-old woman named Katrina Morgan in Port Clinton, Ohio. And on Saturday night, she was drunk and called 911 for help.
What kind of help? She said her JUNK was on FIRE and she needed a firefighter to come over and, quote, "put it out with their hose."
Then she hung up. And when a dispatcher called back, Katrina repeated that she needed someone to, quote, "come put her [p-word] out because it is on fire."
Emergency crews actually went to her house but nothing was on fire... genitalia or otherwise. Katrina was arrested for disrupting public service, making false alarms, and resisting arrest. (The Smoking Gun)